I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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