Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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