And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
