Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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