That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
