Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
