she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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