yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
