dude i'm inner monologue high
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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