Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
