Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
