she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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