I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
