Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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