Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
