Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
