And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
