I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
