No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
