Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
