she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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