i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
where are my eyebrows?
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