If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
