Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
