i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
