butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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