I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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