dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
