Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
