We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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