i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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