we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
