He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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