So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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