I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
