Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
