You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
