Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
