Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
