Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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