sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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