he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
