ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need to sanitize my soul.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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