Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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