hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
a search helicopter?!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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