Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
