Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
