gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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