so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
