wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
