apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
