I looked at my own cervix.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
