Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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