I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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